Unretirement Project

Retirement Redefined

Caregivers: How to Discuss Your Needs with Your Employer

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continue your success story airport sign encouraging caregivers

A few months ago, I shared with you some “tips for working caregivers” from an AARP webcast on the topic. In the second part of the AARP webcast series, the conversation turned toward how to have caregiving conversations with your employer. While the webcast didn’t offer XX steps you should follow, I thought it might be helpful to outline what you could do if and when you need to discuss your caregiving responsibilities with your manager.

1. Understand the law. In January 2018, the RAISE Family Caregivers Act was signed into law. This legislation requires the Secretary of Health and Human Services to develop, maintain, and update a strategy to recognize and support family caregivers. I’m not aware that the details of the program have been finalized yet, but it is something to watch. Also be sure to check the laws of your state to see if there is legislation covering caregivers.

2. Read your employee handbook. One of the most eye-opening portions of the webcast was when the host asked polled listeners how many people had read their handbook or talked with human resources about their benefits. More than 75% had not. As a HR pro, I understand that the handbook isn’t the most riveting reading, but it contains essential information. Check it out. Talk with HR. Know your benefits. 

3. See what services your employee assistance program (EAP) can offer. Speaking of benefits, a common one that many organizations offer is an EAP, also known as an employee assistance program. EAPs provide employees with confidential resources and guidance in areas like mental health, financial well-being, etc. Again, this is a benefit that is already yours. Take full advantage of it.

4. Think about the objections. Whenever I’m getting ready to pitch an idea, I think of all the objections. And come prepared to address them. While the crux of your conversation is “I’m responsible for family caregiving and I need my company’s support.”, put yourself in your manager’s shoes. What might their objections be? Some of the things that immediately come to mind are quantity and quality of work. Know the answers.

5. Have proposed solutions. This is the hard part. Be prepared to propose some steps that will allow you to be a caregiver and still get work done. Some of the proposed solutions could involve working from home, or a flexible schedule. But if those proposed solutions involve shifting work to others, consider how you’re going to introduce that idea. Chances are, you wouldn’t want someone to do it to you, so you probably don’t want to do it to them.

6. Plan your conversation. Put a few talking points down on a piece of paper. You might want to talk about your current performance, your caregiver needs, and your proposed solutions. If your work performance has been less than stellar, be prepared to address that. The company is going to have a hard time buying into your ideas if you can’t convince them that you’re able to deliver.

7. Don’t expect an immediate “yes”. After you pitch your plan, don’t expect your manager to immediately respond. They might ask a few questions. Or offer some sort of non-committal reply like, “I’m going to have to discuss this with HR.” Especially if you’re the first person that’s ever made this type of request. Just because you don’t receive an immediate “yes” doesn’t mean you’re going to get a “no”. Be patient.

8. Have a Plan B. Speaking of “no”, I don’t know that you need to present this during your initial conversation, but it might be worth considering on the front end what happens if the company does say “no” to your request. I’d like to think that companies do understand that caregiving is an issue. Maybe your manager is a caregiver and can empathize. But it’s better to have a Plan B and never use it than the other way around.

9. Thank the company for considering. Regardless of the outcome, thank your manager and the company for considering your request. It is possible that even if the answer in your situation is “no”, that you’ve opened the door for a conversation long overdue. It’s also possible that the company might come back to you weeks or months later with a change of heart. 

Tomorrow (February 20, 2020) is National Caregivers Day. As we age, we not only have to think about our own caregiving needs but the caregiving needs of those around us. Proper research and planning will help us have the open conversations we need. 

Aging In Place: 7 Things You Can Do to Prepare Your Home

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fenced yard in New Orleans for aging in place

When Keith and I were making the decision to move to Gainesville, Florida, we also talked about staying put in South Florida and renovating our current home. It was the live version of “Love It or List It” with David Visentin and Hilary Farr. LOL! Deciding whether to stay and renovate or move is a big decision. Especially when you consider aging in place.

Ultimately, we decided to move. But as we were building our current home, we kept in mind that this was going to be a place where we wanted to age comfortably. This played a role in many of the decisions we made during the construction process. 

As you talk about your aging in place plans, think about your home. It could be done as part of a renovation to the home you have right now. Or building something new. Maybe a bit of both – buying a new home and then renovating it. Regardless, here are a few things we learned along the way when it comes to aging comfortably at home.

1. Appliances: I’m specifically talking about refrigerators, washers, and dryers. I know the current trend is to have the refrigerator freezer on the bottom. But that means bending over all the time! Same with front load washers and dryers. Think about how much bending you want to do all the time and are there options to have the latest while saving you some back pain.

2. Bathrooms: Three things to consider: adult height vanities (again, be kind to your back), “comfort height” toilets, and shower bars. If you’re not ready to look at shower bars in your bathroom, it is possible to have them pre-blocked during construction. Then that support structure can be utilized later. 

3. Ceiling Height: We love high ceilings. They can make small rooms look very spacious. But changing out light bulbs and smoke alarm batteries can mean climbing very tall ladders. At some point, we must decide how many times we want to climb up on ladders when we’re 60, 70, or older. I hate climbing on ladders now and want to do even less of it when I’m older. 

4. Drawers and cabinets: Just like ceiling heights, tall cabinets look fabulous. But depending on how tall those cabinets are, it might involve using a step stool to reach those top shelves. And our builder told us to focus on drawer pulls versus knobs. The idea being to minimize the amount of gripping we would need as we age. And as lovely as some drawer pulls look, they also suggested steering away from ones that might accidentally grab or snag clothing.

5. Flooring: This is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can be helpful to have all wood or tile floors so there are no thresholds to possibly trip over. But then again, if we put rugs on the wood or tile floors, we run the risk of tripping over them. I wish I had an answer. It’s definitely an important conversation to have. 

6. Landscaping: I love beautiful landscaping. I’m not a fan of yardwork. Keith likes yardwork. He finds it cathartic. We spent a lot of time talking about how much yard would give us the beautiful part we love without being a huge burden. While Keith loves doing the yardwork today, there might be a time when he doesn’t want to, and he shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

7. Lighting: Our home in South Florida was filled with natural light. We rarely turned the lights on during the daytime. Yeah, in the evening we turned lights on but not during the day. Gainesville is different. The natural light isn’t the same. Lighting is important because we need it to read, clean, etc. Not only do we need to plan for built in lighting, but we need to consider additional lighting in terms of lamps, night lights, outdoor lighting, etc.

I don’t know that anyone should duplicate what Keith and I did on our home. But I put this list together so you can have the same conversations and make the right decisions for you. I’d like to think that most of us want to enjoy our homes as we age. That means planning for both form and function when it comes to aging in place.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of New Orleans, LA

Downsizing: The 3 Categories of Items to Keep

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wall art SEE in reference to downsizing

Over the past few months, I’ve learned a lot about “stuff”. Translation: I’ve learned a lot about material possessions. 

If you follow Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method, then you know that you’re supposed to surround yourself with items that bring joy. I completely understand the rationale behind this philosophy when downsizing, but there are other items we need that don’t necessarily spark joy. And I don’t know that I would have come to this realization if we hadn’t recently put all of our belongings in storage.

Readers of Unretirement Project know that we’ve been building a home for the past year. At some point in the process, the lease on our rental house was up and we didn’t want to commit to another year. The builder said, “Oh, it’s only going to be a few weeks until closing.” So, we put everything we owned in storage. And a “few weeks” turned into a “few months”. 

During those “few months”, we didn’t have our stuff. And it made me realize how much we rely on things to bring us happiness, make us productive, and help us feel safe. In fact, I’d say that when it comes to decluttering or downsizing, it might make sense to put belongings in one of those three categories. 

Items that bring happiness or joy. Like the KonMari Method, I totally believe that there are things we have because they make us happy. It might be a picture, stuffed toy, or an old worn book. It’s possible that the item has a utilitarian purpose, but my guess is that the item is more sentimental in nature. To me, the challenge with these items is that we’re always accumulating new items that bring happiness and joy. When downsizing, we might need to discard items that brought us joy at one point in time, but today…not so much. Or not as much as other things. And it’s okay to not feel guilty about it.

Items that make us productive. With all of our belongings in storage, we found ourselves wanting little things like chip clips. Any other time, I could find a zillion free logoed chip clips at conferences. Now that we needed them…nowhere to be found. Would I say that a chip clip sparks joy? Not really. It has a utilitarian purpose to keep potato chips fresh. But this is just an example of an item that most of us have and use on a regular basis. On some level, we take having it for granted and maybe we shouldn’t.

Items that help us feel safe. When we put all of our stuff in storage, we were wearing shorts. Thank goodness we got all of our stuff out of storage before we needed to deal with winter (or what passes for winter in Florida). While I like my sweaters, I’m not sure they make me happy. They do keep me warm. Another thing: while our things were in storage, we were faced with the threat of a hurricane. All of our hurricane supplies? Yep, in storage. It’s a real dilemma. Do you go out and buy all new emergency supplies knowing you have everything you need…but it’s in storage?!

Thankfully, we didn’t have to repurchase too many things and we learned to live without. And that’s the point. As we talk about decluttering and downsizing, it might make sense to think about not only what we want to surround ourselves with but what we need to surround ourselves with. 

Of course, it’s possible that items fulfill more than one purpose and they’re both something we need as well as want. An example for me would be my phone. I need it to send texts and occasionally make calls. And I want a certain brand with certain features. Another example would be the hair products I use, I need shampoo, conditioner, etc. I might want to try a certain brand. We might want to apply this to the other things we own. While I’m not advocating hoarding stuff, I would be careful not to discard something you need too soon. The last thing anyone wants to do is toss a memento only to regret the decision later.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Washington, DC 

What We Are UP To: The Old School Edition

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old school Reykjavík Iceland city street

I’m a big fan of technology and have lots of it. I love technology gadgets and test-driving new tech toys. But loving technology doesn’t mean that I have to give up some old school activities or items. This month, I find myself gravitating towards things that are a bit more classic or old school. 

Watching | Bad Boys for Life

> I’ll admit it. I loved the first two movies. It’s a classic cop buddies action flick. And every once in a while, that’s really okay. I don’t subscribe to the theory that every movie needs to be Academy Award winning material. In fact, lately I’ve been gravitating toward fun, entertaining movies over serious, somber ones. 

Reading | Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore

> Full disclosure, I’m not finished with this one yet, but I’m loving the juxtaposition between old books and new technology. The book is about a marketing executive who loses his job during the Great Recession and ends up working third shift at a bookstore. Then strange things start happening. So far, it’s a nice example of how old school and new school can work together nicely.

Remembering | MAD Magazine

> Talk about old school! I remember reading MAD Magazine when I was much younger. It was my introduction to satirical content. Last year, the publisher announced that MAD was basically shutting down, except for the occasional special collection. Well, I ran across a special collection in the grocery store this month and couldn’t resist. I haven’t opened a MAD Magazine in years. I hope I’m not disappointed. 

Working On | Car Research

> We’re a research family. We do spreadsheets to plan our vacation. LOL! You can imagine what it’s like trying to figure out what car to buy. Keith and I downsized to one vehicle a few years ago, so having a reliable mode of transportation is important. It will take us a while to sort this out. Our current vehicle is almost 15 years old and many of the fancy new items we added back then are now considered to be very old school. GPS? Pfft. Just use your phone.

Feeling | Settled

> We’ve managed to unpack all of the boxes inside the house. Can’t say the same for the garage, but we’re declaring it a win. We’re in phase two of moving – rearranging where everything goes around the house. The nice part is that we’re settled. All of our stuff is in one place and we don’t have to wonder where we’re going to live every month. That was a terrible feeling and one that I hope no one ever has to experience.

Planning | WordCamp Miami

> Unretirement Project runs on a WordPress blog. WordPress is considered to be the most popular content management system (CMS) in the world and used by about 75 million websites. WordPress users hold regular events, called WordCamps, where users help other users learn more about the system. Old school sharing and networking. We’ve been going to the one in Miami for years and even though we live in Gainesville, we’re still going to it. 

Loving | Coconut Water Cold Brew

> I’m a big fan of cold brew coffee. I make my own at home after finding this recipe via Jaime Oliver. It’s very easy to do. My latest experiment is using coconut water. It does make a subtle difference. Not overpowering but very mellow. If you like cold brew, it might be worth a try. 

Geeking | Light Box

> Light boxes are basically plastic boxes with a translucent surface that you can place shapes/letters/etc. on so the messaging is seen via contrast. Growing up (and still today), many businesses use very large light boxes to let customers know the latest specials or advertise help wanted. Today, companies are making smaller versions of light boxes for personal use. I have one in my office so I can post my own motivational messages. It’s fun!

What’s UP with you? Got a favorite old school item or activity? 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the old school streets of Reykjavík, Iceland

Older Drivers: Learning Technology Can Extend To Your Car

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drivers and their old cars on the streets of Havana, Cuba

At some point, Keith and I are going to have to think about getting a new car. Years ago as drivers, we became a one-car household. And our current car is over 15 years old. Having a reliable vehicle is important so we shouldn’t wait until we have to buy a car.

But you can see where I’m going with this. Today’s automobiles have a lot of technology! Our old car has a GPS system. Which of course we don’t use because it’s easier and more accurate to use our phones and Google Maps. But 15 years ago, GPS technology was fancy and a luxury! Since we tend to keep cars for a while, it’s important that we get the right technology that’s going to help us have a better driving experience. And what I mean by that is drive more safely.

If you’re not aware, AARP has a 90-minute self-guided online workshop about today’s smarter vehicles. It covers technologies like assistive parking systems, blind spot warning systems for drivers, and crash mitigation systems. The purpose of the workshop is to help people understand what these technologies do (and don’t do) so we can make educated decisions about the types of technologies we want to include in our vehicles.

As we age, one of the things that remains important to our wellbeing is having the ability to still get around. I think it’s fair to say that we don’t want to have to rely on people to drive us around for errands, etc. While those activities aren’t the most exciting, they do represent being mobile. And I’m sure we want to be independent as long as we can.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) talks about how older drivers need to be aware of the changes that happen to our driving skills as we age. Falls and motor vehicle crashes are the two leading causes of injury and death in older adults. The good news is that the latest technologies can help. They’re not designed to be a replacement for our driving skills, but they can offer assistance. If you know about them and you know how to use them properly.

While we’re talking about driving, there are other resources out on the Interwebs that can help you with your driving skills as you age.

  • AAA has a Senior Driving site which includes each state’s licensing laws, a driving health check-up, and how to have a conversation with an older adult about their driving.
  • The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration offers something similar to AAA with videos and resources to support older drivers including how certain medical conditions can have an impact on driving abilities.

Having a conversation about driving is very difficult. Many of us have been driving for decades. Maybe we haven’t had a traffic ticket in years. That doesn’t mean we can let our guard down about our driving skills – or those of other drivers on the road. And when it comes time to replace our current vehicles, we need to understand the latest automobile technologies so we buy features that make sense for our situation.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Havana, Cuba

What Is the SECURE Act and Why Should You Pay Attention

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typewriter showing Time to Hustle related to SECURE Act and retirement savings

Last month, the U.S. Congress passed a spending bill that included bipartisan legislation called the SECURE Act (aka Setting Every Community Up for Retirement Enhancement Act of 2019). The Act is focused on increasing the number of people saving for retirement and the amount they are able to save. The President signed the spending bill and the SECURE Act into law on December 20, 2019.

Like most new pieces of legislation, there are new things we don’t know and things we will discover over time. To get us familiar with the law, I’ve put together a round-up of articles on the subject.

What is the SECURE Act and How Could it Affect Your Retirement? I’ve become a fan of Investopedia’s daily electronic newsletter. This article from them shares how SECURE could change our individual retirement accounts (IRAs), 401(k)s, and required minimum distributions (RMDs). 

SECURE Act Alters 401(k) Compliance Landscape. You might not be a human resources professional like me but I often find the best way to learn about subjects is from the point-of-view of the person who has to administer programs related to them. This article from the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) explains how 401(k) administration will change.

The SECURE Act. Like the SHRM article above, the National Association of Plan Advisors (NAPA) has put together a resource page on the new law. It includes the actual legislation, news articles, etc. NAPA is an affiliate organization of the American Retirement Association, previously known as the American Society of Pension Actuaries. 

A new law is bringing big changes for retirement savers, especially parents. Michelle Singletary writes a nationally syndicated column focused on personal finance for the Washington Post. This article does a nice job of explaining the highlights of the law as well as some of the downsides to the new legislation. 

5 Things Affluent Retirees Should Do Now that the SECURE Act has Passed. Don’t let the word “affluent” in the title deter you from reading this piece from Kiplinger. Like the Washington Post article, the author provides practical suggestions for anyone who is retirement planning.

At times, retirement can seem so far away that it’s easy to push these articles to the bottom of the reading pile. Retirement planning is an important activity. At some point, we have to start carving out time for it. That way, when it’s time to take action, our learning curve won’t be quite as steep.

What do you think of the SECURE Act? What questions do you have about the new law? 

Bookmark This! Over Age 55 Job Search Edition

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change made here such as a new job search

As we get older, our job search strategies change. Frankly, they should. I’m not talking about in terms of ageism or age discrimination (although sadly, both exist). What I mean is that our wants and needs in a job change over time. And that translates to a different kind of job search. 

One thing that doesn’t change is the fact that looking for a new opportunity is hard, and it takes time. Even when the labor market is candidate friendly. If searching for a new job is part of your plans, here’s a list of resources that may help.

The Business Case for Hiring 50+ Workers

Companies want qualified workers. To get them, the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) and AARP recommend that we look to the 50+ workers. But it may take some training and optimizing job design.

Are You Too Old for a Second Career?

Many workers are pursuing a career change as they approach retirement. Is a second career feasible? Could age be an obstacle to success?

How to Research a Company You Want to Work For

If you are searching for a new opportunity, doing company research is essential! Here are 5 tips for company research before that important interview.

How to Deal with Ageism During Job Interviews

Ageism is an issue in the workplace today. So how do you deal with ageism during interviews? Harvard Business Review shared 5 helpful tips to follow regardless of your age.

How to Apply Your Transferable Skills Toward an Encore Career

An encore career will require specific skills to be successful. Here are steps you can take to help apply your transferable skills to an encore career.

Job Seekers: There Is a Fine Line Between Persistent and Pest

Job seekers need to understand the fine line between being persistent and being a pest. Learn how to follow up the right way in a job search.

Searching for a job today is a bit different than it was years ago. Social media platforms like LinkedIn and Facebook have changed the game. This doesn’t mean finding a new job is impossible, but it does mean that putting the right strategy in place is the key to job search success. 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Las Vegas, NV