Unretirement Project

Retirement Redefined

3 Ways You May Contribute to Your Own Ageism

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I mentioned a few weeks ago that I listened to a LinkedIn Learning program on encore careers. One of the topics discussed during the program was ageism. It totally makes sense. Age does play a factor into our career decisions. 

I’m starting to see an interesting trend where the discussion about ageism is concerned. And that’s ageism might not be totally “somebody else’s fault”. Yes, I will admit that ageism does exist. It’s sad to say but it’s true. However, are all instances of ageism somebody else’s fault or is it possible that we are creating our own self-fulfilling prophecy?

Shortly after completing the LinkedIn Learning program, I ran across an article from a colleague of mine on the site Fistful of Talent titled, “Ageism is Real – And It’s Your Fault”. The article talks about the things that we do as individuals that contribute to the “old person” perception. You know, like “I don’t have time for that technology stuff.” Or “Oh, those Millennials….” My takeaway from this article was regardless of your physical age, if you act like the stereotype then people will assume you are one. 

Then, Next Avenue published an interview titled, “Are Concerns About Age Discrimination by Employers Overblown?”where the conversation focused around whether ageism is real. The idea being with an employment market where there are more openings than candidates, at some point, organizations have to realize that older workers are valuable. Again, my takeaway from the article was it’s important to keep current.

Seeing these conversations so close in time took me back to the discussion in the LinkedIn Learning program about ageism. As we age, there are three things about aging we need to consider to ensure we’re not contributing to our own ageism. 

Believing your own negative self-talk. Self-talk is those messages we tell ourselves. Think of them as those little voices inside our head. Sometimes we say them out loud, but often not. Bottom-line: Our self-talk is incredibly powerful. Especially when we say things like, “I can’t do this because I’m old.” Granted there might be things that we can’t do anymore, but that’s not the case for everything. 

And let me add one more thought. There’s a big difference in deciding you don’t want to do something because you’re older and you can’t do it. Keith and I have said to ourselves plenty of times, “been there, done that, and we don’t need to do it anymore”. 

Stopping your own learning. This is a big one. You don’t have to earn a college degree to learn. Just because you turn 40, 50, 60, or 70 doesn’t mean you can’t take a class, listen to a podcast, watch a TED Talk, or read a book. If there’s something you want to learn, do it. Especially, if you’re thinking about switching careers as you get older. 

If you haven’t checked it out, sites like Coursera and edX offer massive open online courses (MOOCs). Most of them are free and have a wide variety of topics. If you have a budget, MasterClass offers programs from some very famous people. Whatever you decide is fine. Just keep learning.

Not networking across generations. I believe this last one is harder than it looks. If you have younger family members, then you might be able to chat with them. But if you don’t (or you would prefer not to network with family), think about how you can gain exposure to different points of view. Regardless of who you speak with, it’s important to interact with a diverse group of people. 

Maybe think about mentoring as a way to share your expertise and learn at the same time. There are lots of organizations that are regularly looking for mentors. It’s also possible that your current employer might have a mentoring program that you can sign up for. 

We have some decisions to make as we age. And one of the biggest is deciding how we will accept aging. If we want others to see us as contributors, then we need to act like it. Please notice I didn’t say we need to act “young”. People need to accept our age for what it is. But that doesn’t mean we’re not able to bring value. We need to send the message and demonstrate that we can.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Las Vegas, NV

Make a Checklist of Your Wishes For Your Family

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For the last decade of my father-in-law’s life, every time we visited him, he would find an hour to chat with us about his final wishes. It was never on the first day or the last. It was never over dinner. But at some point, he would find a few moments to talk about what he wanted his final days to be like and how he wanted his matters handled by family when he was gone. 

Keith and I came to expect these little chats every time we visited him. 

Now that we’re getting older, we’re trying to figure out when we should start having those chats with people. First of all, it’s a great reminder that if you haven’t already thought about the executor of your estate…now’s a good time. And don’t let that term intimidate you. Whether you have $1 or $1M, somebody is going to have to handle your final affairs. 

AARP Publishing has a book out titled, “Checklist for My Family” by Sally Balch Hurme, J.D.. This 250-page book outlines ten areas of our life that we might want to consider documenting. Some of them are very predictable like life insurance, investments, and real estate. Others are more surprising such as items to destroy, rewards programs, and pet care. 

I’m sure for many, the task of handling a person’s final affairs is given to a child. Keith and I have an interesting dynamic to consider because we don’t have children. I found this book to be something that we could complete and leave it in a place for the executor of our estate to review. I love that everything is in a single book, so our executor only has to find one thing – the book. And we can keep the book in a safe place or mail it to our executor.

The book has two parts. The first part is my “to-do” list. This is where I need to review items, make decisions about how I would like things handled by family, etc. The second part is where I document those decisions. Looking back, my father-in-law was quite the planner and there were plenty of things he forgot to tell us. This book reminds me that while there are several major decisions to make, there are lots of smaller decisions to consider as well. 

If I have one criticism about the book, it’s that the author doesn’t put enough emphasis on technology. The book does reference digital assets, but most of us have multiple social media accounts, emails, etc. and at some point, somebody will be given the task of deleting my digital life. In future editions, I could see technology being a separate chapter versus just a few pages.

At some point in time, we have to start making plans for our final days. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I don’t want to rush those decisions. Having a checklist for family that I can pick up and put down at my leisure makes me feel in control. And isn’t that want we’re trying to do – be in control of how our affairs are handled. 

What We Are UP To – February 2019

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Watching | Chuck

> Or should I say rewatching. The TV series Chuck, starring Zachary Levi, is one of my favorites. In honor of DC’s Shazam (starring Zachary Levi) coming out in April, we decided to rewatch Chuck. Still excellent after all this time. 

Reading | Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

> I’ve heard for years that the Harry Potter series is reading for all ages. So, I finally broke down a picked-up Harry Potter book number one. I must admit it grabbed me immediately! I can see this being a series that both Keith and I will enjoy and want to chat about. 

Remembering | Fort Lauderdale

>We were in our old stomping grounds early in February for client meetings. We had a wonderful time and enjoyed visiting some of our favorite places. But OMGosh, the traffic! We actually we’re held up in traffic one afternoon because nine police cars apprehended someone (guns drawn) on the I95 highway. I love you Fort Lauderdale, but I don’t miss that.

Working On | Travel

> I’ve been home for a couple of months and, while I love being home, I’m looking forward to spring travel season. I have trips planned to some places I haven’t been to lately – like Oklahoma City, Salt Lake City, and St. Louis. It should be great fun to get out and explore. 

Feeling | Ready to move!

> While moving your household is never fun, can I tell ya that I’m ready to move! We’re still a few months away but becoming incredibly conscious that a move date will be soon. In February, we drove by the construction site recently and saw a pile of baseboards in the house. Stuff is happening!

Planning | Ace Your Retirement

> Keith and I ran across a billboard on the Florida Turnpike promoting AceYourRetirement.org. It’s a (chatbot) digital retirement coach sponsored by AARP and the Ad Council. Takes less than 5 minutes to answer some questions about where you are in your retirement planning and offers some suggestions. No registration required. 

Loving | Girl Scout Cookies

> I was a Girl Scout so I appreciate the frenzy that is “cookie season” in February. Typically, we just pick up our Girl Scout cookies in front of the grocery store. But no one was selling! I couldn’t believe it. But good news! The Girl Scouts have gotten smarter and allow people to set up small storefronts to sell cookies online. I was able to support my friend’s children, no matter where they live. 

Geeking | MasterClass

> I’m sure you’ve heard of MasterClass. It’s an online education portal with programs from famous people. Like Annie Leibovitz teaches photography. And Gordon Ramsay teaches cooking. We decided to sign up for a year and test it out. I’m currently listening to Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman talk about economics. Absolutely fascinating. 

What’s UP with you?

Decision Making: What Underthinking Looks Like

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If you spend time on social channels, there’s a good chance you’ve seen the meme GIF about “what overthinking looks like”. It shows a young child crying in a pool, appearing to desperately cling to a lane marker rope to keep his head above the water. The mother rushes in to help him stand up in water that only barely comes up to his knees. The somewhat humorous intent, of course, is don’t overthink things – deal with the reality of a situation and you will be fine.

It’s a cute little message. But it made me wonder – where is the cute GIF about underthinking? There really isn’t one. Nor should there be. Because the result of underthinking is just bad decision making. And there’s nothing humorous or cute about that. 

The business world has always placed emphasis on decision making and its importance in organizational success. In fact, our consulting firm worked with a number of companies, teaching an adaptation of the Blake Mouton Managerial Grid – a way of evaluating decisions relative to the task that needed to be performed and the people that are impacted. I won’t go into the details here. The point is, business success often depends on a systematic approach to decision making. We should carry that forward into our personal decisions.

A simplified version of systematic decision making is a 5-step process:

Step 1: Identify the Goal. This may be the most important step since it is the basis for all the rest. For this exercise, let’s say your goal is to retire comfortably as early as possible. There are some parameters here (“comfortably” and “early as possible”) that can help us identify the best options.

Step 2: Weigh Your Options. For this, you will need information. Given the goal, some of the options may be drawing Social Security as soon as possible. Or maybe tapping into your 401(k) at first and waiting a few years so you can draw a larger check from Social Security. This is the time to talk with friends and experts to learn all opportunities.

Step 3: Consider Consequences. The previous step is so important because it will help us consider the consequences of each option. Will we deplete our nest egg too soon if we wait too long to file for Social Security? What will be our tax burden, and will that eat away at our savings? This step may even help to identify other options like part-time work during retirement.

Step 4: Make Your Decision. Remember the “overthinking meme”? At some point, you have to be satisfied that you’ve collected all the options you need and evaluated the consequences of each. That should lead you to the best decision that fulfills as many parameters as possible and gives you the best outcome.

Step 5: Evaluate Your Decision. Sadly, this is often the step that gets overlooked. But, even if you did a great job with the first four steps, you may be surprised with part of the results. The worst thing you can do is cling blindly to a decision just because of the effort you put into it. Evaluate your decision and make adjustments as needed.

One other thing to remember along the way is you don’t have to do this all by yourself. Of course you will have many conversations with family and friends. And AARP is full of planning resources. You can also check out The FIRE movement (financial independence, retire early) – a group that appears to be setting new standards in financial planning for retirement. Again, do your research!

We know that life is full of important decisions and retirement is one of the most critical. Unlike the “overthinking meme”, we can’t count on someone to rush in and rescue us when we make bad decisions. Fortunately, using a good system can go a long way toward helping us make good decisions.

How To Help Your Parents Downsize Their Home

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Thanks to Marie Kondo, downsizing is now a thing. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s a Japanese organizing consultant and author of the best-selling book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. Her method, called KonMari, focuses on only keeping possessions that bring you joy. While the book has been out for a few years, Kondo recently starred in a Netflix series, “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” reminding all of us to organize and downsize our stuff.

While I still need to read Kondo’s book, I do find the whole idea of decluttering fascinating. Neither Keith or I are big collectors of stuff, but last year when we were getting ready for our move to North Florida, we realized that we had accumulated a lot of stuff. It’s easy to do and we wrote about our experience in the post “6 Lessons Learned from Decluttering”. 

To learn more about downsizing, I recently picked up a copy of the book “Downsizing The Family Home” by Marni Jameson (published by AARP). This book takes a very different (and practical) approach to downsizing in that it views it from the standpoint of a person having to downsize their parent’s (or loved one’s) home, which may or may not be your childhood home. Here are a few of my takeaways from the book:

It’s possible that we will have to ask our parents or loved ones to downsize. While some adults might decide that it’s time to downsize the house for a condo, it’s also very possible that our parents have a very comfortable lifestyle and don’t want to downsize. It won’t be until their health or age start to prompt the conversation. That means an adult child or close family member might be the person who initiates the “we need to get rid of a few things” discussion. 

Getting rid of our stuff is both physical and emotional. Jameson’s book deals with both the physical and emotional aspects of downsizing. Let’s face it – all of our possessions have stories attached to them – how we got them, who gave them to us, etc. Getting rid of items that have long-term or significant memories is more than simply disposing of stuff. It’s an emotional message tied to our mortality. 

Consider phases. You cannot organize and declutter your home in a day. When Keith and I were moving, we did a room every week and it took about three months. So, put together a plan. If you’re helping your parents or a loved one and don’t live close by, it might take even longer. It could also be helpful to space it out, so it isn’t a big shock when larger items (like furniture) leave the house. 

Make downsizing a regular event. It could be possible that your loved ones don’t need to move or downsize into a smaller home today, but you’re thinking someday they might. If someone is apprehensive about moving to a smaller home, moving in with children, or into assisted living, it could be helpful to start downsizing early. That way someone doesn’t associate downsizing with moving away from their long-time home. 

Figure out your disposal strategy. Okay, you have a big pile of stuff to get rid of. Now what? It’s time to figure out whether to sell it, donate it, or junk it. Jameson’s book devotes quite a few pages toward estate and rummage sales – how to figure out whether older items have value and disposing of them. She also spends some time talking about the difference between what parents might think is collectable and what actual collectors think. 

Make a plan. One of the things I like about this book is that there’s a companion workbook (Yes, you have to purchase it extra). Instead of calling it a workbook, I’d actually characterize it as more of a downsizing journal, with prompts that allow the user to document their downsizing goals, how they feel about letting go of items, and planning for the sale of items. 

It’s one thing for us to decide to get rid of our stuff. It’s another to have to help our parents part with their stuff. Especially when it’s our childhood home. We’re dealing with both our emotions and theirs. Books about downsizing, like Jameson’s, can help us bring some structure to the process.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of New Orleans, LA 

8 Reasons to Learn About Social Security Early in Your Career

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I used to think the right time to learn about Social Security was right before I need it. No sense in learning about something and then having to learn about changes. Well, I’ve changed my mind on this. I received a copy of the book, Social Security Strategies: How to Optimize Retirement Benefits [3rd Edition]. Sad to say, I received this book over a year ago. And it’s been sitting on the corner of my desk for quite some time.

I finally started digging into the book and realized that understanding Social Security is going to take some time. And it’s possible that one book isn’t going to answer all of my questions. So instead of rushing to learn Social Security when I’m in my 60’s, maybe it makes sense to start learning about it when I’m younger. 

While I’m sure that I don’t know everything that I need to know about Social Security, I did learn a few things from reading about it. The book authors also have a website with additional information. Here are my takeaways:

  1. Social Security benefits are driven by age. I’m sure most of you already knew that. But it appears that for some individuals, the date when you can collect benefits is changing. For example, if you’re turning 62 in 2019, your full retirement age is 66 years, 6 months (that’s a two-month increase from last year).
  2. You will want to discuss Social Security strategies with your spouse or significant other. While many benefits are focused on the individual, the amount of your Social Security benefit can change depending on your marital status. You’ll want to decide as a family when each person might want to consider taking their benefit.
  3. You will want to plan your filing strategy years in advance. There’s a lot of writing about getting the greatest monthly benefit when you wait until you’re 70 to file for Social Security. But if your goal with Social Security is to draw as much money as possible, then it could make more financial sense to draw early and collect longer.
  4. If you don’t know how to manage cash flow, you’ll want to learn. Collecting Social Security means living on a budget. And budgets mean understanding cash flow. It’s about having money when you need it, and that includes for emergencies.
  5. You’ll want to monitor your estimated benefits. And start thinking about living within that budget. Speaking of budgets, another aspect of finances to think about is changing your lifestyle to live within your means. It’s possible that all of the things that are necessary right now, we won’t need to purchase in the future.
  6. If you’re planning to work while drawing benefits, you’ll want to understand the impact. If you’re planning to freelance or consult during retirement, you’ll want to think about how much money you’re trying to make while collecting Social Security. Because…see #7.
  7. Social Security doesn’t mean you’re no longer paying any taxes. There are limits on how much money you can make without incurring tax penalties. You’ll want to know what those numbers are because it will drive your unretirement strategy.
  8. Finally, you’ll want to know how to apply. And the necessary paperwork to bring. Don’t wait until the last minute to figure out how to apply. Can you apply online? Is it better to apply in person? What paperwork do you need to bring with you? 

Regardless of your financial position, chances are Social Security is a part of your retirement plan. Don’t wait until the last minute to start learning about it. And one other thing…if you’re thinking that you will need Social Security someday, then don’t ignore the conversations happening within government. I’m not here to tell you what to think. But if you don’t want someone to mess with your retirement without you getting a say…then learning about Social Security sooner (versus later) makes sense.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby at Lucky’s Lunch Counter in San Diego, CA

5 Steps for Finding Your Encore Career – #Unretirement Answers

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We recently received a question from a reader about encore (or second) careers. Regardless of your age, it’s good to start thinking about what a career change might look like.

My husband is over 50 and looking to change careers and industries from entertainment publicity to something totally different. Do you have any recommendations? We recently relocated to Colorado, but I don’t think location matters.

First of all, thank you so much for this note. I must admit, this is the first reader note we’ve received. I love answering reader questions, so I hope I’ll get some more. 

I’ve written about changing careers a couple of times over on HR Bartender. I don’t want to republish those posts here, so I hope you’ll check these out.

Are you too old for a second career?

Dual careers on your resume and LinkedIn profile

Regarding the reader note, I recently listened to a LinkedIn Learning session from Marci Alboher, vice president of Encore.org and author of “The Encore Career Handbook” about (you guessed it) encore careers. The session is less than an hour long and provides a high-level overview of considerations for finding encore careers. If someone is looking for a place to start, Alboher’s session might be the way to go. In addition to her session, here are five other steps to consider:

  1. Check out Encore.org and join their LinkedIn group. This was one of my big takeaways from Alboher’s session – that there’s an organization and group we can explore and learn from. I didn’t know they existed. But I’m paying attention to them now. 
  2. Get your resume and LinkedIn profile in order. Whether you decide to change professions, industries, or go out on your own, you’ll want to do this. And the process takes time. I recently wrote a post on “5 Tips for Age Proofing Your Resume”. Check it out when you have a moment. Use the same philosophy for your LinkedIn profile. 
  3. Start developing your social media platforms. Speaking of LinkedIn, we’ve published a couple of posts about working your LinkedIn and Facebook networks. Many organizations post openings online, so you’ll want to know these platforms. 
  4. Think about what you want to do. And where you want to do it. I can’t tell anyone what job to take. You have to figure that out on your own. Which means spending some time thinking about what interests you, how much money to you need to make, etc. 

There’s one other thing (#5) that I want to address when it comes to second careers. Or first careers for that matter. I’ve always felt that the person getting the job needs to want the job. And part of wanting the job is showing interest. Now it’s possible that the “my husband” reference in this note is because the reader was legitimately asked to write the note. But at some point, “my husband” has to take over this research. Otherwise, this situation will probably not turn out well. I’m dishing out this tough love from the standpoint of a recruiter who has seen moms, dads, husbands, wives, and partners get involved in their loved one’s job search.

An encore career is definitely something to consider when it comes to your retirement strategy. And this person is doing the right thing by starting the conversation early. 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby after speaking at the MBTI Users Conference in San Francisco, CA