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Loved Ones Must Know Your Health Care Wishes

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wall art heart showing for health care let all you do be done in love

I’m sure that no one wants to read today’s article, but I’m hoping you will. 

This is not an “older person” article. It’s also not a “pandemic” article. It’s also not about having a will – although that’s a good idea. It’s not meant to cause alarm or panic. But if there was ever a time to say to ourselves, “If I got sick, do my family and friends know my health care wishes?” now would be that time. 

I’m saying this a bit tongue in cheek, but when Buzzfeed…you know, Buzzfeed as the source for all of those cutesy quizzes that fill our Facebook page…when Buzzfeed publishes an article titled “The Four Legal Documents that Everyone Needs to Plan for Their Future”, then pay attention. I don’t want to give the whole article away, but here are three of the documents they mention:

A living will is a written statement detailing how you would like your medical and health care treatment to be handled in the event that you’re unable to express it yourself. 

A healthcare proxy is a document that says who can make healthcare decisions on your behalf, when you’re not able to do so. 

A power of attorney is a written authorization for someone to represent you or act on your behalf when it comes to business or financial affairs. 

As you can see, these documents are very inter-related. It might take some time to figure out how you would like your health care treatment handled and who you would like to be your spokesperson. You also have to figure out if the person making the decisions about your medical treatments should be your power of attorney. And then of course, there’s the decision of backups in case your first choice isn’t willing or able to take on this responsibility. 

The point being, the process of putting these documents in place takes time. It’s also recommended to have an attorney create these documents for you, so you have to budget for that. The ideal time to do all of this is when you’re not under the pressure of having to do it. This requires careful consideration.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but my father-in-law was the ultimate planner when it came to his health care and final wishes. He talked to us for years about it. When his health started to decline, we all knew his wishes and there were no questions. There were no squabbles amongst family members about decisions. Everyone was focused on the same things. 

As a result of COVID-19, I have a few friends who have already begun conversations with their children about their medical wishes should they become ill. I realize that no one wants to do this. But it can be a big relief to everyone to have these health care conversations and draw up these documents so there’s no confusion about what to do and who will be in charge of decision making. 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Gainesville, FL

Job Seekers: The 7 Skills You Need For Your Search

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job seekers skills for new job

Job security is on people’s minds today. We’re all seeing the same news about unemployment rates at historic highs. Whether you’re one of the job seekers currently looking for a new opportunity or not, it does make sense to always be thinking about your career and what options you have. 

One of the most important aspects to consider is how you would go about a job search. Let me dish out some tough love here . . . a job search in today’s technology driven world may require a unique approach. Here are a few skills for job seekers to consider:

  1. Goal Management. Careers are about goals. It might be to work for a certain company or in a specific field. You could have a goal to achieve a particular job title (like vice president). We also have career goals surrounding compensation, benefits, and perks. Or maybe the goal is to learn something like “graduate from the Culinary Institute of America” (also known as the CIA). Once we achieve one career goal, then we set another one. 
  1. Organization. We achieve our goals through planning and preparation. It’s possible that, to achieve some of the goals mentioned in #1 (goal management), job seekers need to save money, schedule time off from work, or take some classes. This could involve doing some research. For example, if one of your goals is to obtain HR certification, then you might need to research the requirements, ask your boss for reimbursements, schedule time to study, etc. All of this takes organization. 
  1. Prioritization. I wish I could say that once we set a goal, that’s it. But it’s simply not true. Fortunately, and unfortunately, we have other opportunities present themselves. Some of them won’t sway us from our goals. Others could be so tempting that we need to evaluate them alongside our existing goals. Understanding priorities is incredibly important in figuring out which path to pursue. No one wants to miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity because they didn’t have their priorities established.
  1. Networking. Speaking of opportunities, you’re not going to get them if you don’t network. I know virtual networking can be hard, but job seekers have to find ways to stay connected. It’s one of the big pluses of social media. Having a network is critical for career development. Your network can help you find new job opportunities. It can also serve as an informal board of advisors. So, being able to build positive trusting relationships is the cornerstone of your future career.
  1. Curiosity. It’s possible that we will miss out on building relationships with interesting people and being a part of exiting opportunities if we’re not curious. I totally agree that there’s no rule that says we must say “yes” to every request but listening can be very beneficial. It can present us with options we never thought of AND it can confirm that the goals we’re currently pursing are the right ones. Understanding our priorities (see #2) can help job seekers constantly re-evaluate the new options being presented.
  1. Risk-Awareness. At first, I had labeled this paragraph Risk-Aversion, but then I changed it. Because it’s not always about taking fewer risks. Sometimes our careers will require us to make bold moves – maybe a relocation or an extra assignment. It’s about understanding the risks associated with the decision and being okay with them. It could also involve having a Plan B (see #1 – goal management) available in case you have to make a change in plans.
  1. Communication. Of course, you knew communication had to be on the list, which is why I made it last. All of the skills we’ve discussed involve having excellent communication skills – both verbal and written. You might want to journal your goals to remain focused. Or chat with a family member or mentor about the risk and rewards associated with a new opportunity. Either way, being able to communicate clearly AND being able to truly listen to feedback and guidance from others will be valuable.

While this list of skills might impress an employer during an interview, that’s really not what it’s for. It’s designed to be a reminder that, whether you’re currently an employee or one of the job seekers, you need to have some ownership of your search. And these are the skills that will help you be good at it. 

What We Are UP To – The New Normal Edition

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brain cramp zombie poster on bus stop implying the new normal

This month we’re watching states relax shelter-in-place restrictions. I will admit that while it’s nice to see places reopening, I’m not sure we’re completely ready to resume all of the activities that we were planning before COVID-19. So, this month, we’re getting ready for a new normal – at least one that we believe will last for the next few months. 

Watching | The Mandalorian

> I’ve never been a huge Star Wars fan, but I have seen the movies. After all the Baby Yoda news, we broke down, ordered Disney+, and watched The Mandalorian. The Child (aka Baby Yoda) is adorable! I’m a fan. This will definitely be a part of our “new normal” viewing schedule. 

Reading | “Love Your Age”

> This was the perfect time for me to pick up this book. Author Barbara Hannah Grufferman gives readers an actionable, practical list of things we can do to feel better about ourselves and live a healthier life. I particularly liked the “master cheat sheet” at the end of the book with tips for things we can do daily, weekly, monthly, and annually. It’s given me some ideas about activities that I should incorporate into my new normal. 

Remembering | Road trips

> I ran across an article in Lifehacker about “Why You Still Need to Drive Your Car a Little If You’re Quarantined” and it reminded us that we need to figure out how to do this. A dead battery is not any fun. So, Keith and I took a road trip to a nearby small-town with a roadside restaurant famous for their barbecue. We ordered online, took a drive, and the restaurant brought it out to the car. The Q was delicious, and the road trip was just what we (and the car) needed. 

Working On | Sourdough starter

> Yep, we jumped on the “make sourdough starter during quarantine” craze. I’m not sure how this kitchen science experiment will turn out, but it has been fun. We’ve researched all sorts of recipes to understand the science of sourdough. And we had to find lots of uses for sourdough starter discard. The best so far? Sourdough peanut butter cookies.

Feeling | Comfortable with face coverings

> I must admit the first couple of times that I went outside with a face covering, it was odd. The face covering doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t seem to fog up my eyeglasses too much. It just takes some getting used to. Personally, I think I will be wearing face coverings for a while, so I’m thinking about having a small (very small!) collection. That will allow me to always have one available. 

Planning | Meatless meals?

> Is anyone else out there wondering about meat shortages? I’ve been in a few grocery stores over the past month that are limiting meat purchases. The news is talking about supply chain issues. Not sure where all of this is going but Keith and I are thinking about adding a meatless meal to our new normal. We both love lentils, and this might be a good time to test out some recipes. (If you have a good meatless dish, drop a link in the comments.)

Loving | Small tea kettles

> You know, I’m a tea person. Well, I broke my favorite tea infuser and decided to try something new. Instead of a tea infuser, I’m using a small glass kettle (with a strainer). It works great, easier to clean, and significantly cheaper. Sometimes being forced to try new options works out well. 

Geeking | Logic Puzzles

> I’ve mentioned before my love of puzzles. One type that I remember loving (and aggravating the heck out of me) are logic grid puzzles. It’s the type of puzzle where you are given a series of categories and an equal number of options within each category. Each option is used once and only once. The goal is to solve the puzzle using the mathematical field of deduction. 

What’s UP with you? Is there anything that you’ve been doing while sheltering that will become part of your new normal?

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Chicago, IL

The Pros and Cons of Being a One Car Household

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one car or many cars on the road in an urban setting

One of the things to consider in retirement is transportation as in, “How much do you want to drive?” The answer might prompt you to take some action like moving from the suburbs to a more walkable community. Or maybe downsize vehicles to something smaller and/or more fuel efficient. Or you might do what we did and simply become a one-car household. 

I must admit that Keith and I didn’t reach this decision quickly. We were very concerned because we had always been a two-car household. But once we were both working from home, we realized that we were really only using one car. In fact, we had to jump the battery our second car twice because we simply weren’t using it. That’s when we realized that we needed to make a decision about cars.

We’ve been a one-car household for about eight years now. Honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Here are a few of the advantages and disadvantages we’ve encountered.

Pros –

Cost. This is an obvious one. Depending on how you buy cars, having one car payment is nice. Having zero car payments is even nicer once you pay it off. There’s also not having auto insurance for two cars, maintenance for two cars, and putting gas into two cars. 

Space. What I mean here is space in the garage, carport, or parking spaces outside your residence. It’s very nice having the extra space. And depending on your taste in automobiles, trying to get two vehicles side-by-side in a garage can be challenging. 

Upgrade. Downgrading to one car could mean an upgrade in the type of car you own. Or the same type of car, but you splurge on a few features that you might not normally get. Another option is to save those dollars for something else. 

Cons –

Coordination. One vehicle does mean having to occasionally coordinate schedules when it comes to doctor’s appointments, meetings, etc. It’s not a huge deal for us because we simply make notes on our Outlook calendars so the other person knows they can’t have the car. The rest of the time, it’s first come first serve.

Rentals. That being said about coordination, we’ve run into a couple situations where we both absolutely needed wheels. And we rented a car. The cost of a rental is significantly less than buying and maintaining a second car. I’d say we rent a car 1-2 times a year (max).  

Personalization. Keith and I are fortunate that we’re roughly the same height, so our car seat and mirror settings are the same. But I could see where this might be an issue for others. Every time you get in the car, having to adjust seats and mirrors can be a PITA.

As we age, transportation is something we need to think about. It can be helpful to have these conversations early so no one is caught off guard. If you’ve been used to driving your own car and having that type of freedom, being able to control your future transportation needs will be important.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of New Delhi, India

The High Cost of Financial Exploitation and Tips to Prevent it

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Las Vegas slot machine early retirement and tips to prevent financial exploitation

AARP recently offered a webinar on “The Costs of Financial Exploitation & Tips to Prevent It”. It was a very interesting and eye-opening listen. One in five individuals fall victim to some form of financial exploitation. The average loss is $120,000, which for many can be their entire savings. And while you might say to yourself, “I’m smart and alert. I’m not going to let some stranger scam me out of my money.”, the research shows that it’s often not the strangers we have to worry about. It’s family and friends. 

I’m not bringing this up to scare you or to make you suspect of anyone. But AARP’s philosophy of “If you can spot a scam, you can stop a scam.” Is a good one. AARP mentioned during the webinar that being aware of scams makes a person 80% less likely to engage in one and if a person does start to engage, it makes them 40% less likely to be a victim. So, talking about scams, fraud, and financial exploitation is an important topic. 

Many of us are well aware of the Social Security Administration scams going on. But we’re already hearing about scams associated with the stimulus checks that we’re scheduled to receive. That’s right, we don’t even know when we’re going to get these checks and there are already scams in place to get them from us. 

The webinar pointed out five actions to look out for when it comes to financial exploitation. These might be actions that you want to discuss with family members or ask someone to review with you (so you stay alert as well).

  1. Pay attention to withdrawals, loans, and overall transactions. It simply makes good financial sense to have regular reviews of your expenditures. This can also be a time to take note of anything unusual in your spending and address it. This isn’t about a lack of trust. It’s about making sure that our financial affairs are in order. 
  1. Have two power of attorneys for checks and balances. It’s always recommended to have a power of attorney in estate planning. But I can see where it might make sense to have two. This can create checks and balances on financial decisions. It will take some conversations to figure out who those two people are – the last thing anyone wants to do is create friction. But it’s worth consideration. 
  1. Ask your financial institution if they participate in the BankSafe program. The AARP BankSafe Initiative provides training to employees at financial institutions to help them spot potential signs of financial exploitation. Researchers have found this type of training gives employees greater confidence in recognizing and reporting cases resulting in 12 times more money being protected per employee.
  1. Learn about third party requests for money. During these difficult times, it can be wonderful to give to organizations and individuals who need assistance. I’m not saying to stop. But it’s important to take a moment and do our homework about where we’re sending our money.
  1. Screen your phone calls. AARP continues to bring up this point. Phone calls are an easy way to scam people. The best way to avoid a scam phone call is to let it go to voicemail. If it’s a legit call, they will leave a message. Let your family and friends know that you won’t answer spontaneous phone messages. Recommend they send a text or some other type of message, so you don’t have to deal with scam calls.

PLUS! in addition to scams about stimulus checks, another popular scam right now involves the U.S. Census. Individuals posing as census workers collect information that can be used in identity theft. If you’re concerned about this, check out the video “5 Ways to Avoid a Census Scam” and share it with others.  

Talking about money is always a sensitive topic and no one wants to admit that they might have fallen victim to a scam. That’s why taking a preventative approach to financial exploitation is so important. Start the conversations early and get used to having open and honest conversations with people you trust. 

What We Are UP To: Quarantine Life Edition – #Unretirement Project

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wild wall art during quarantine life

Like many of you, Keith and I are still sheltering in place this month. But we’re making the best of our quarantine life. I know, it’s not really a quarantine. Here are a few of the things we’ve been doing during this wild time. 

Watching | Zombieland 1 & 2

> I’m sure this movie choice sounds a bit offbeat given what’s going on, but they are really fun movies. Neither of us are into scary or gory films. Don’t want to give away the storyline, but I will say that I loved the list of rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Especially number 32. You can look it up. 

Reading | AARP Memory Activity Book

> I bought this book a while ago because I wanted to see what types of activities were being encouraged to stimulate our brains. I believe brain health is important, so I was curious. The book contains dozens of individual activities that a person could do on their own (like creating a song playlist) or with others (playing a team sport). Even if you’re not dealing with memory loss, there are some fun things in the book to occupy your time. 

Remembering |Great Recession

> No, I’m not looking back on the Great Recession with fond memories. But with all of the talk about recession these days, we are looking back at what happened to see if there are some lessons that we need to remember or ideas we should incorporate into our lifestyle sooner versus later. Better to plan ahead.

Working On | Hanging Pictures

> Living the quarantine life is giving us the time to do a few small projects around the house like hanging pictures. We did a few right after moving in to make the house feel more homey but it’s time to finish the project. When you’re spending more time than usual inside, it is nice to have beautiful things on the walls. 

Feeling | A bit of FOMO

> FOMO is an acronym for “fear of missing out”. It’s often associated with the anxiety of not doing something such as going to the hip new restaurant or buying the latest trendy item. In our quarantine life, I think it’s attached to making the latest culinary trend like Dalonga Coffee, a South Korean drink made from instant coffee and sugar served over milk. It was tasty and a fun distraction to make. 

Planning | With Blueberries

> One of the benefits to living in North Florida is the number of blueberry farms in the area. And we love blueberries! The season just started, and we were able to get a summer’s worth of blueberries. Good thing they freeze well. LOL! That being said, I’m on the hunt for really good blueberry recipes. Quarantine life is the perfect time to try then out. 

Loving | Pigs in a Duvet Cover

> When we lived in Cincinnati, one of our favorite places was Skyline Chili. We were very fortunate when we moved to Fort Lauderdale that they had not one but two Skyline Chili franchises. Well, now that we’re in Gainesville, we’re not as fortunate. Luckily, we can buy Skyline online. We saw this recipe for ‘pigs in a duvet cover’ and decided to try it with some mustard, Skyline chili, onions, and cheese. OMGosh, it’s a deconstructed cheese coney! Delish. 

Geeking | Fiasco

> A favorite podcast of mine is Slate’s Slow Burn. It’s a well-researched look at significant events in our history. The original host of the podcast, Leon Neyfakh, has recently gone out on his own and created another podcast documentary called Fiasco. I’m listening to season one about the contested 2000 election between Al Gore and George W. Bush. If you enjoy politics and the news, check it out. 

What’s UP with you? How are you passing the time in quarantine? 

Social Distancing: 5 New Things You Can Do

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bar sign saying it's 5 o'clock somewhere for the purpose of social distancing

Depending on where you live, you’ve probably been practicing social distancing for at least a week or two. Maybe longer. It’s important for us to help flatten the curve and I’d like to believe that, by now, everyone knows that. 

But let’s be realistic. Social distancing is hard. Keith and I work from home, socialize very little, and even we think this is hard. We’re cutting back on the few things that we enjoyed going out and doing. So, I can only imagine what others who are used to much more active social lives are feeling right now. 

Like many, when we first heard about social distancing, it was an opportunity to dust off the to-do list and tackle some projects. We cooked at home. Started organizing the garage. Watched a few movies we’ve been looking forward to seeing. After that, a little bit of social distancing boredom sets in. We still need to stay at home but now we need some new activities to occupy our time and our mind. So, I’ve come up with a list of five things you might want to consider working on while you’re still at home.

  1. Take a MOOC (massive open online course). If you’re not familiar with MOOCs, these are free online courses taught by some of the best universities in the world. In the past, I’ve taken a course on the science of happiness from Yale. Keith and I just finished one from Harvard on meteorology. Think about a topic that you’ve been saying that you want to learn more about – like investing – and see if there’s a course available. BTW – there is an interesting financial markets course offered by Yale.
  1. Update your social media accounts. This is the perfect time to update your social media profiles, avatars, etc. Think of it as a social media audit. Be sure to also review the privacy settings for each platform as well. In addition, if you’ve been waiting for some free time to learn newer social media platforms like Instagram, this could also be a good time to slowly ease into it. That could lead to discovering even more activities such as Instagram’s “Photo A Day” – which is very fun.  
  1. Research the candidates running for office in 2020. Oh, and sign up for a mail ballot. For some, the last thing you might want to do right now is pay attention to the news but let me toss out another point of view. Now is when we get to see how political candidates handle the tough times. We get to see if they really act effectively and in our best interest. In addition, it will only take a few moments of your time, but find your supervisor of elections website and sign up for mail ballots. That way you know that you will be able to vote in the primaries and in the general election. 
  1. Attend a virtual event. Everything I’ve mentioned so far you can do on your own. If you’re missing human interaction, consider attending – or even hosting – a virtual event. You can sign up for a free account from Zoom and coordinate a virtual coffee meeting or happy hour. Netflix has a “party” feature where you can watch shows or movies with friends. Social distancing doesn’t mean we can’t see our friends, we’re just going to have to wait a little longer to be in the same room with them. 
  1. Stay healthy. Finally, don’t forget about your own health and wellbeing. I know that in many places, we can’t go to our hair stylist or a day spa. Keith and I have found it challenging to get fresh fruit and vegetables at the grocery store. Gyms, health clubs, and exercise studios are closed. But that doesn’t mean we’re not trying new foods and new ways to get activity. We just discovered an app called “The Walk” (available for Apple and Android devices) that coordinates activity with a story about saving the world just by walking. Oh, and you will ultimately be walking the length of the United Kingdom. 

My hope is that today’s post offers a bit of creative inspiration to keep your social distancing activities interesting. This is a tough time – even for a mega introvert like me. If you have some tips or resources for keeping things from getting too boring, share them in the comments. We’ve love to hear them.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby just off Duval Street in Key West, FL