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Make a FINAL File for Your Loved Ones

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Quote box saying organization shall set you free including planning your final wishes

I know it’s a terrible time to be writing this post. Or maybe, depending on how you look at it, it’s the perfect time. 

I ran across an article in TIME titled, “Why You Need to Make a ‘When I Die’ File – Before It’s Too Late”. It’s a good read that you should check out. It reminded me of the article I wrote recently on “Loved Ones Must Know Your Health Care Wishes” and how important it is to plan a little for the future. 

Talking about illness and death isn’t fun. None of us want to do it. I remember every time we visited my father-in-law, he would at some point have the “When I die…” conversation. On one hand, you dread it. That’s not why you came to visit. It’s to enjoy his company. But when his health did start failing, we were prepared. And it allowed us to focus on making his final days comfortable versus worrying about papers, insurance, etc.

The gist of the TIME article was to put all of those things that someone might want or need in a file. It could be a paper file or an electronic one. That’s up to you. But think about what you might want to share with someone. I kinda like calling it a FINAL file versus “When I Die” folder. You can figure out what you want to call it. Here are a few things to consider:

Family traditions. One of the things that struck me in the TIME article was that a mother included her famous family recipes in her FINAL file. I could totally see that being important to her children. How many traditions are passed along from generation to generation? And how many of those famous meals are simply in someone’s head?

Estate and household paperwork. Make sure your will, power of attorney, and health care directives are someplace where people can access them. Also make sure that whoever will be handling your affairs knows where your bills are because they have to take care of paying your final utilities bills, credit cards, etc. 

Directions on how to access your digital life. In today’s very technology driven world, chances are we have cell phones and computers. They’re probably locked with passcodes and should be changed regularly. I know that I don’t want to let a bunch of people know every time I change a password. But it could make sense for me to keep all of my passwords in a password management program with instructions how to access it in my FINAL file. 

Final letters to loved ones. Depending on your situation, you might want to draft final letters to relatives and have them in your FINAL file. Maybe to a spouse, child or grandchild. Possibly to someone who you haven’t spoken with in a long time. Entirely your decision, but nonetheless, a decision you should think about. 

The goal here isn’t to do all of this at once. Which is exactly why you want to start this project earlier than you might think. But maybe take an hour each month to start thinking about it and putting it together. This could be a good project for us to remember all of the estate planning we need to do. And it will ultimately be helpful for our family and friends at some point in the future.

Quote from Chef Alton Brown captured by Sharlyn Lauby 

Forget Boomers and Get Ready For the Young Old

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Anthony Bourdain quote I don't have to agree with you like the young old or YOLD

I ran across an article in The Economist titled “The Decade of the ‘Young Old’ Begins”. It’s an interesting read worth checking out. “Young Old” – also known as YOLD – is the group of individuals between 65 and 75 years of age. The reason that the group is being called “young old” is because, while their age is in the traditional retirement range, their lifestyles aren’t. 

YOLD individuals are working longer, staying healthier, and represent a significant consumer market. This should not be a surprise to anyone. Regardless of the unemployment rate, organizations need the best talent and YOLD individuals are willing to work a few more years because they want to, and they can save up a few extra dollars. 

There’s research that says remaining in the working world is helping people stay healthier longer. The article cites a study that shows a positive relationship between cognitive abilities and working, which makes sense. And finally, because YOLD people are staying in the workforce longer, they can afford to do some of those things on their bucket list (i.e. spending money on travel).

While this all seems logical, organizations are behind the times when it comes to recognizing YOLD individuals and their value. Here are three areas of focus that businesses should consider:

  1. Ageism. I wish I could wave a magic wand and erase ageism, but I haven’t figured that one out yet. Ageism exists and organizations need to figure out how to create more inclusive workplaces. Not just because it’s the right thing to do. Selfishly, they need the talent and YOLD workers are one of the groups that can bring it. It’s time for companies to realize that inclusionary workforces bring positive results. 
  1. Health Care. Speaking of working longer, if organizations want to enjoy high performance from their employees, then it pays to keep employees healthy – regardless of age. Now, I will admit that some of the responsibility for health falls to the individual – eating right, exercising, and preventative care. But organizations are in a position to make health care affordable. 
  1. Retirement. This is one of the reasons that Keith and I started this blog. Thanks to YOLD, retirement is changing. Yes, at some point, we all will want to stop working and retire. But people want a modern retirement. Since Social Security and Medicare have been enacted, there have been numerous technological and societal changes. Retirement programs need to be updated to reflect the way we live our lives today. 

I understand that YOLD is simply a euphuism. It’s something new and catchy, especially in the wake of “Ok, Boomer.” But YOLD does raise some good points about aging and work, health, and retirement. Not only do businesses need to pay attention but so do individuals. Are you supporting legislators who agree with your YOLD philosophy? Do you support businesses that respect YOLD individuals? And if you’re thinking that you’re so far away from retirement that this doesn’t matter, think again. How does this impact older friends and loved ones?

The time to think about how you want to spend your YOLD years is now. Because you want to spend them your way. 

Loved Ones Must Know Your Health Care Wishes

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wall art heart showing for health care let all you do be done in love

I’m sure that no one wants to read today’s article, but I’m hoping you will. 

This is not an “older person” article. It’s also not a “pandemic” article. It’s also not about having a will – although that’s a good idea. It’s not meant to cause alarm or panic. But if there was ever a time to say to ourselves, “If I got sick, do my family and friends know my health care wishes?” now would be that time. 

I’m saying this a bit tongue in cheek, but when Buzzfeed…you know, Buzzfeed as the source for all of those cutesy quizzes that fill our Facebook page…when Buzzfeed publishes an article titled “The Four Legal Documents that Everyone Needs to Plan for Their Future”, then pay attention. I don’t want to give the whole article away, but here are three of the documents they mention:

A living will is a written statement detailing how you would like your medical and health care treatment to be handled in the event that you’re unable to express it yourself. 

A healthcare proxy is a document that says who can make healthcare decisions on your behalf, when you’re not able to do so. 

A power of attorney is a written authorization for someone to represent you or act on your behalf when it comes to business or financial affairs. 

As you can see, these documents are very inter-related. It might take some time to figure out how you would like your health care treatment handled and who you would like to be your spokesperson. You also have to figure out if the person making the decisions about your medical treatments should be your power of attorney. And then of course, there’s the decision of backups in case your first choice isn’t willing or able to take on this responsibility. 

The point being, the process of putting these documents in place takes time. It’s also recommended to have an attorney create these documents for you, so you have to budget for that. The ideal time to do all of this is when you’re not under the pressure of having to do it. This requires careful consideration.

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but my father-in-law was the ultimate planner when it came to his health care and final wishes. He talked to us for years about it. When his health started to decline, we all knew his wishes and there were no questions. There were no squabbles amongst family members about decisions. Everyone was focused on the same things. 

As a result of COVID-19, I have a few friends who have already begun conversations with their children about their medical wishes should they become ill. I realize that no one wants to do this. But it can be a big relief to everyone to have these health care conversations and draw up these documents so there’s no confusion about what to do and who will be in charge of decision making. 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Gainesville, FL

Smart Home Technology Helps Aging in Place

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Las Vegas sign robot waiters cheers to good times with smart home technology

I ran across this article in ReadWrite about “The Key to Smart Home Success; Safety and Security”. It’s an interesting read that you might want to check out. Even if you’re not thinking about aging in your home.

Keith and I still have a few years before we’re of official retirement age (i.e. meaning we can sign up for Medicare and Social Security). But that doesn’t mean we’re not thinking about the home we plan to age in and how we can make that home as “senior” friendly as possible.

Obviously, that includes things like downsizing and making bathroom renovations to include grip bars in tubs and showers. But another area that we’ve been reading a lot about is using smart home technology. Hence, my mention of the ReadWrite article above. We’re using smart home technologies now to make our lives easier. Why not think about how smart home technologies can help us age in place?

But here’s the thing. We need to be deliberate when it comes to using smart home technologies. This isn’t simply about buying some gizmo and hooking it up to our home internet. Here are a few things to consider:

Learn how the Internet of Things (ioT) works. The Internet of Things (aka IoT) is a system of interrelated devices that connect with each other via the internet. A common example would be that I can view what’s happening in our home on my Apple Watch and iPhone using my Amazon web camera. The idea is that all of these devices work together to give me – the user – a more valuable experience. 

Think ecosystem. Keith and I were big holdouts when it came to the Apple ecosystem. We had iPhones and iPads but held back on iMacs and other devices. We had no idea how great the benefits were of being in the ecosystem. I’m not saying you have to buy Apple products but do think about how your devices will “speak” to or work with each other. Remember, the goal is to make things easier.

Research companies and services. Once we know how IoT works, then it becomes easier to identify those companies that might provide products and services that will be helpful. We can research who has ecosystems and who doesn’t. I hate to say it but the last thing we want to do is invest in products and services that won’t get along with other technologies. Or they sound cool, but they might be out of business in a couple of years.

Know how your home network is set up and functions. Getting internet at home is so easy today. Just call a service provider and they show up with a box and some wires. Just a couple hours later…poof! We have WiFi. But if you’re planning to use smart home technology to help with your aging strategy, then it’s important to know a bit more. Get educated on how the system is set up and how to do basic troubleshooting.

You don’t need to get a degree in engineering to become proficient with smart home technologies. But for all of those people who might be saying, “Ah, who needs the internet?!” keep in mind that smart homes are the wave of the future. It’s what people want. And it’s what companies are making. At some point, it is possible that all we might be able to buy are smart home technologies. No one wants to age behind a steep learning curve.

Make Retirement Plans For Your Social Media Accounts

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Disney sign end of the line social media accounts

I’m going to talk about a subject that many of us don’t like to discuss – death.

I ran across a column in The Washington Post about “Facebook memorials”. It’s an interesting read about the different options that can come up when someone with a Facebook account dies and how you can pay respects online. You might want to check it out. My biggest takeaway from the article was that I need to have an opinion about what happens to my social media accounts when I die. Here are some of the things that I’ve started thinking about that you might want to consider as well:

Should I retire some social media accounts before? Granted, because of HR Bartender and Unretirement Project, I’m out on quite a few social media networks. But will I need to maintain all of them as I get older? Probably not.

How will I know when to retire a social media account? It’s easy to say that I might not need to be out on every social media network forever. That being said, I do need to think about what the conditions are for retiring a social media account. Right now, it’s kinda willy nilly. Oh, Google+ is shutting down? Okay, I’ll close my account. That logic might not be the same with Twitter.

How should I close an account? The answer to this question might seem obvious, but I’m not so sure. Some people close accounts by contacting the organization and officially “closing the account”. Others do it by simply not using it anymore. There are advantages and disadvantages to each. If you’re wavering on whether or not to use a social media network anymore, maybe it makes some sense to not use it for a while to confirm your decision. That way if you miss the interaction, you can easily go back.

Do I want and/or need a record of the account before I close it? Many social media platforms give you the ability to download your historical record. I must admit that I’ve never really utilized this option, but could it be worth my time to download my history before closing the account.? I honestly don’t know. However, I do think it’s worth some research and a conversation. And if you do decide to get the record, what are you doing to do with it?

Who do I need to inform about my social media accounts? What I’m talking about here are logins and passwords. Chances are you’re going to change your password regularly between now and then, so you don’t want to have to notify family or friends every time you do. (And if you’re not planning to change your password, you should.) Have a place – like a password manager – where people will be able to easily find so that, in the event of your death, they can access your accounts and follow your wishes. 

I’m sure I’ve only scratched the surface of the things we have to consider when it comes to social media and our passing. But it’s an important conversation. Our identities are out there and the last thing any of us want is our identity to be compromised. So, we want to be able to enjoy social media while we can and put the pieces in place for it to be handled appropriately when we’re not here anymore.

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring Disneyland in Anaheim, CA

How to Deal With Ageism During Job Interviews

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you be you sign confidence is in you ageism during interviews

I ran across this article on Harvard Business Review titled, “5 Ways to Respond to Ageism in a Job Interview”. It’s worth checking out. 

It’s unfortunate but ageism exists. And there’s a real debate going on right now whether ageism is being perpetuated by organizations or individuals. Meaning, are companies really the villains when it comes to pointing out that age is a factor in employment decisions OR are individuals the victim for not keeping up with the times. Personally, I think there’s a bit of both happening in the workplace today.

Organizations need to realize that older workers bring value. Especially when businesses are really struggling to find talent. Meanwhile, job seekers and employees need to realize the world is changing. Technology is a big part of our personal and professional lives. As individuals, we need to evolve and stay current. 

Back to the Harvard Business Review piece. I thought the article had some great interview tips for individuals who are trying to find a new opportunity in today’s job market. Regardless of age. Here are five from the article:

  1. Demonstrate energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity.
  2. Adopt a consulting mindset, meaning listen more than talk.
  3. Express a willingness to work in a non-hierarchical organization.
  4. Connect with the recruiter and hiring manager.
  5. Show the ability to work with a diverse group of people. 

But I have to tell you, IMHO, the author blew it big time with the suggestion to “look the part”. [Warning: Rant Ahead]

No, the author didn’t suggest that we all start wearing hoodies and Allbirds. That being said, I felt even adding comments about department store styling services, buying some modern jewelry, and getting new eyeglasses were out of place. I thought the author negated all of the useful tips they shared by saying, “It’s not enough to showcase your knowledge, skills, and abilities. You have to look like you’ll fit in.”

As a human resources professional, here’s my two-cents regarding interview attire: You should be who you are. That includes wearing what you want. Wear what makes you happy, comfortable, and productive. My only advice for individuals about their clothing is wear what fits, make sure it’s clean, and don’t offend anyone. If you want to buy some new clothes because you’re looking for a new job, go right ahead. But do it for you. Not because some company – or writer –  says you need to. [Rant Over. Thanks for listening.]

I recently learned about a new term called “covering”. This is when organizations hire individuals because on the surface, they appear to bring diversity, but once the person starts, the new employee feels the need to “cover up” who they are to fit in. Take that principle to the interviewing process. If you have to cover up who you are to get a job, how happy are you really going to be once you get hired? I’m not just talking about clothes. 

Looking for a new opportunity is a long and sometimes stressful process. Do your homework on the companies you’re interviewing with. Make sure you feel you can be yourself there. Because that’s where you’ll be happiest and most productive. 

Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Denver, CO